What's this all about then?.

  'welcome to the strange, uncomfortable, unpleasant and often infuriating land of Olde Albilande. An insignificant backwater of an isle in a word ignored.'
                             Dr T.T. Splaindall-White 

 So begins the seminal 'Olde Albilande, an argument against' by Dr T.T. Splaindall-White (Shizer publishing 1974). A more fitting introduction I could not be bothered to think of. So why start a blog about the military history of such an unimportant footnote of a place?. Well dear reader the answer is simple...long winded but simple...let me explain...

  I first discovered the thrilling pastime of nonhistorical research in my youth. My local library had a well stocked section of over six books on the very subject and I devoured them all (except M.P. Arennials 'A study of Sprinting Gappe, fighting over nothing really' which as we all know is total bolloc...).

The section looked rather like this.

 I delighted in the works of P.L. Rightit, Major L Ovingmanne and Dr Splaindall-White, finding my self lost for hours in the wonderful accounts of the history they did not unearth. But it was with the discovery of  'How to research nonhistory' by Mr H Avesaque that my interest became an obsession.

  Soon after I was eagerly gathering non existent evidence for many periods of nonhistory. Fascinated was I by the Ruscavarian Mutton men uprising of 1619, the War of the seven Twattes of 1211 and the Pavishcan/ Dalovian faff of 1799 but where my ardor for the subject was truly inflamed was the 3rd Lamavacian invasion of Olde Albilande of 1002. Learning about such colourful characters as brave Lord 'one arm' Billington-Heap, Sir P'orrage the Pasted and the cunning Laird Bostitch the back stabber of Doonthaway really captured my imagination for the period and land in which in didn't happen. Soon I was delving into other great campaigns that never occurred in that place and soon I had amassed a fu*k-tonne of (non) information on the subject. 

Olde Albilande and the Lamavic isles around 1600 a.d.

  So my reasons for writing this blog are twofold. Firstly I wish to document the fictional history of that proud and oft (but not oft enough) imagined place, delving into the wars throughout the ages and why they never came to be. Secondly I hope to inspire you dear reader to yourself delve into ages past to imagine for yourself the bygone history that has never gripped the military historians past and present. So please, join me if you will as I provide my meticulously unresearched history of the key battles and wars of Olde Albilande, recreating them in miniature for your enjoyment.